Checkups are Never Easy
by shadowroxmysox3
Summary: Sonic and the crew go to the hospital to have their checkups, what will happen? - just read and review please! NO FLAMES I WILL EAT YOU! FIANLLY COMPLETE!
1. Introduction

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 1-Introduction (AKA the boring first chapter)**

**A/N: OK so this story is all about Sonic and the rest of the gang going in for their health checkups. I had this idea a while ago right before I was taken in for surgery on my foot. (It's a long, painful story) So each chapter is for a different person going in for their checkup. So read and review please! AND NO FLAMES! Oh and I didn't put cheese in here, I thought he would get in the way. Sorry Cheese fans!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Sonic characters happy now? Oh but I do own Sapphire the Bat and all hospital staff. (But you don't have to pay that much attention to them) And I do not own Slipknot either.**

**New A/N- Ok so this is the first story I am editing and revising. I plan to finish this whole story very soon. Now yes I did change the title from Sonic Checkups to Checkups Are Never Easy (it's just better that way) Enjoy!**

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Sitting in a very dull, very boring waiting room at Station Square Medical Center was the oddest-looking group of people you could ever imagine to find at a hospital. All of them sitting in 12 chairs around the room.

First, there was a blue hedgehog slumping in a hideously green colored chair with a smaller, more enthusiastic, pink hedgehog attached to his arm, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously at her captive.

Sitting next to them was a female (how could you not see that with what she's always wearing?) white bat who was busying herself with bothering a red, rather irritated looking echidna by playing with his long dread locks by twirling them in her gloved fingers, which in turn issued a low growl from the echidna's throat.

Next to them were a pair of female rabbits who looked similar to each other except for the fact that one was much bigger. (Age wise, not like she's fat)

Head banging next to the larger of the two rabbits was an even larger crocodile who had big black headphones on and was listening to Phsychosocial by Slipknot.

Sitting next to the smaller rabbit was an unusual fox with not one but two tails who was happily reading a magazine about various models of planes.

Across from him was a rather grumpy looking black hedgehog who was reading a newspaper with a disgusted look etched on to his peach colored muzzle, thinking about how screwed up the World was at the moment.

Next to Mr. Sunshine was a purple chameleon who was, at the moment, trying to break up a fight which had sparked between a young, male, hyper bee and a female light blue bat who looked a lot like the other bat but younger.

The chameleon finally seemed to gain control just as a nurse came out and looked at the rather large group with a blank face. He took a quick look at the clipboard he had in his hands gloved hands and called out, "Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"Right over here!" the cocky blue hedgehog said as he stood up, ripping away from the pink hedgehog's death grip who in turn gave a disappointed sigh. Sonic confidently strode over to the waiting hospital personnel.

"Right this way sir." the nurse dryly instructed as he started to lead Sonic away from the large group and down the hall to an examination room.

"Good luck Sonic!" the young fox yelled after him.

"He's gonna need it." The black hedgehog grumbled as he turned the page of the newspaper he held in his gloved hands.

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**Ok so I know this chapter was sorta boring (see above) but hopefully the next chapters will be better.**

**R&R please and **_**NO FLAMES!!!**_


	2. Sonic

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Checkups are Never Easy

**Chapter 2- Sonic**

**Disclaimer in first chapter.**

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"Right in here Sir, the doctor should be with you shortly." the nurse informed Sonic as he led the blue hedgehog into a small, white, rather uncomfortable room.

"Thanks." Sonic replied as he took a seat on the hospital bed which was covered with white tissue paper that made an extremely annoying sound with even the slightest movement.

The nurse nodded as he shut the door, leaving Sonic by himself in the small examination hell.

Sonic looked around the room curiously and saw several posters that said something about drinking milk and strong bones

Whatever

He looked around some more and nothing seemed to grab his interest that much.

until...

he saw a closed, closet door that had a sign on it which read "_KEEP OUT."_

"_Hmm_..."

Sonic's mind was swimming with thoughts of what could possibly behind the Secret Door as he quietly slid off the bed (which was 'kinda hard to do because of the damn paper) and cautiously made his way over to the closet.

He took a second to listen for any approaching doctors outside in the hallway.

When the coast was clear he reached for the handle and slowly opened the door...

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**Meanwhile in the waiting room**

Everyone was sitting quietly when all of a sudden the peace was broken by a loud, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone almost jumped out of their seats by the sudden screech of terror from down the hallway. After the scream had stopped piecing everyone's ears the group just looked at each other for a second.

"Sounds like some little girl is getting her shots." Rouge said calmly as she flipped through the three- year-old magazine in her hands and crossed her legs.

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**Back with Sonic**

"WHAT, WHAT IS IT?" Yelled a female panther wearing a doctor uniform as she burst through the door only to find Sonic on the floor pointing to the closet like an infant would do if he thought he saw a monster in it.

"Skel...ske..!!" Sonic stuttered as he backed away from the closet door, emerald eyes wide.

"What?!" yelled the panther again. She didn't understand what Sonic was trying to say. She walked over to the closet and began to reach for the knob.

"NO DON'T OPEN IT!" Sonic burst out; but it was too late. The doctor had already opened it revealing a skeleton.

"DEAD BODY!!" Sonic screeched at the top of his lungs as he scurried under the bed.

The doctor just laughed as she pulled the fake skeleton out of the closet.

"No silly it's not a dead body, it's Bob!"

"Bob?" Sonic panted as he poked his out from under the bed.

"Yes, Bob is our _fake _skeleton we use to educate patients on bone structure." the doctor informed calmly as she put Bob back in to the closet and shut the door, all the while trying not to laugh and thinking about how stupid this particular patient was.

"So... he's not real?" Sonic asked as he crawled out from under the bed and stood up, facing the doctor.

The doctor shook her head with a smile.

"Ha ha... sorry about that." Sonic said as he rubbed the back of his head, his muzzle a tinted pink.

"Oh no it's ok, oh and by the way my name is Dr. West and I will be your doctor for today." she held out her hand as Sonic did the same.

"Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Very well , please take a seat on the bed over there." she pointed to the bed with her pen as she scribbled down some notes on her clipboard she was holding.

"Sure thing doc." Sonic complied as he took a seat on the bed wanting to get this pain in the ass over with.

"Ok Sonic if you would be so kind as to remove your shoes and step on to the scale over here, we will go ahead and get your weight."

"Sure thing." Sonic replied as he took his red running shoes off and headed over to the scale.

Suddenly the doctor held her nose in disgust and started to gag on something.

"AK! What is that horrendous smell?" Dr. West demanded as she gagged some more.

"What, I don't smell anything?" Sonic said casually as he sniffed around.

"It's...your...shoes!!" the doctor managed to say between coughs and gaga as she pointed towards Sonic red running shoes.

"What about them?" Sonic said as he held them up.

"They smells worse than month old shit!!" she screamed again, slightly scaring Sonic.

"How long have you had them for?" She managed to choke.

"For about ten years why?"

The doctors eyes widened as she ran over to the sink and started to hurl.

"GET OUT AND TAKE YOUR RANK SHOES WITH YOU!!" The doctor shouted as she finished.

With a yelp, Sonic grabbed his shoes and ran out of the room towards the waiting room.

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"What did you do now, Faker?" Shadow said as he glared at Sonic.

"I..don't...know?" Sonic said as he took a seat next to a grateful Amy.

All of a sudden the same nurse as before came back holding his clipboard and called,

"Knuckles the Echidna?"

"Oh crap." Knuckles mumbled as he stood up.

"Good luck Knuckie!" Rouge called after him suductivly.

"I hope you have cancer." Shadow mumbled as Knuckles left.


	3. Knuckles

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 3-Knuckles**

**A/N-First off all let me thank everyone for reviewing! It really did make a difference! At first I thought nobody was going to read this but I was wrong! So I promise I will torture Knuckles in this chapter! And then maybe I'll stop ending every sentence with an explanation point!**

**Disclaimer-I am pretty sure everyone knows that I don't own anyone. Oh except for Sapphire and the doctors.**

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Knuckles nervously sat on the hospital bed waiting for his doctor to come and give him his very first checkup. (Surprise surprise) After about ten minutes of starring in to nothingness, the door opened revealing a large black bat wearing a white doctor's coat and holding a brown clipboard in one hand.

"Knuckles the Echidna?" the bat asked as he looked at Knuckles with a bored expression.

"Yeah." Knuckles reluctantly mumbled.

"Hello I am Dr. Weinerland," the bat introduced himself as he shook hands with the nervous echidna.

"Hmm..." Knuckles grumbled again as he returned his ridiculously over-sized hand he used to shake hands with to his side.

"Okay Knuckles, we are going to start off with some simple questions, k?"

"Sure."

"OK...weight?"

"Not sure."

"Height?"

"Not sure."

The bat looked up from his clipboard and gave Knuckles a weird look and then continued with the series questions.

"Place of birth?"

"Angel Island."

"Where you live now?"

"Angel Island."

"Occupation?"

"Huh?"

"Your job?" The doctor re-phrased his question.

"Oh, guarding the Master Emerald."

"That must be fulfilling."

"What?"

"Nothing. Age?"

"18."

The bat looked up from his clipboard, "You're not married or have any kids do you?"

"No, why?" Knuckles asked in a curiously.

"Well Knuckles, this is going to be 'kinda hard to tell you, but echidnas are 'special' in a way."

"...How?" Knuckles asked, his nervousness returning.

"Well...they can only breed up until age 18."

"So...?"

"That means if you haven't breEd by age 18...your going to need to be castrated." the bat said in an awkward tone.

"What's castrated mean?"

"_...Fixed"_

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**In the waiting room**

All was quiet when suddenly Knuckles came tearing down the hallway covering his crotch like he had no underware on. (Which he didn't.) Shouting,

"NO I WILL **NOT** BE FIXED!!"

After some more shouting and weird looks from other people in the waiting room, Knuckles jumped out the window and started to rush back to Angel Island.

"...The hell!?" Sapphire asked a little creeped.

Before anybody else could speak another nurse came into the waiting room.

"Amy Rose?"

"That's me!!" Amy replied in a slightly annoying, over-enthusiastic tone.

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**A/N-Fine I will admit it got a little confusing toward the end but I found it could pass as funny. No flames please!**


	4. Amy

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 4-Amy**

**Disclaimer: I only own Sapphire and the doctors. All Sonic characters belong to SEGA.**

**A/N-Yay it's here! Sorry for the long wait, I 'kinda had writer's block for a few. Anyway, thanks for all the great suggestions I got from everyone!**

**Co authors for this chapter: TwilightPrincess012 and Tailsisreal (They both gave me suggestions for Amy) Yay for both of you guys! On with the story!**

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"Hello Miss Rose, how are you today?" The doctor; a dark green cat asked Amy who was sitting with a smile on the annoyingly plastic covered bed.

"Oh I'm just fine thank you very much!" Amy said over-enthusiastically.

"Well that's good. Now I am going to be your doctor for today, My name is Dr. Grant and we will start today off by getting your weight."

"Ok!" Amy chirped as she hopped off the bed and stood on the scale.

Once the number came up she gasped, pulled out her hammer and smashed the scale to bits.

"Miss Rose!" The doctor gasped by the hedgehog girl's reaction.

"Oh sorry, I just didn't like what I saw!" Amy apologized as she rubbed the back of her head and smiled a grin you would expect to see on one of those creep porcline dolls that keep you awake at night. The doctor just sighed.

"It's Ok we will just.."

"Am I pregnant with Sonic's baby!?" Amy interrupted the doctor, getting in Dr. Grant's face. The cat blinked.

"Excuse me?" The doctor asked, completely agitated by Amy.

"Am I pregnant with Sonic's baby or what!?" Amy asked again, this time leaning even closer in Dr. Grant.

The cat shoved her away.

"Uh..Amy, how old did you say you were again?" The doctor questioned.

"12!" Amy replied.

"And how old is Sonic?"

"16."

"Don't you find something weird about a 16-year-old getting a 12-year-old pregnant? Let alone date her?" The doctor asked again giving Amy a quizzical look. Amy was silent for a few moments before she said,

"Oh well, maybe when we're older it won't make much of a difference!" Amy said cheerfully. She was really starting to drive the doctor up the wall.

"Yeah, that's all fine and dandy but could we just.." But the doctor couldn't finish one sentence before Amy interrupted her... again.

"Do you think I should change this outfit?" Amy asked curiously as she pointed to her dress.

"What?" The doctor asked exasperated and grinding her teeth.

"Do you think I should ware something else?" Amy re-phrased her question.

"How should I know!?" The doctor half shouted.

"A simple 'I don't know' could have worked!" Amy snapped back. That was it for the doctor.

"You are the most annoying person I have ever met! No wonder Sonic runs away from you!" The doctor shouted.

"Take that back!" Amy screamed as she took her hammer out.

**10 Minutes and a bunch of fighting later**

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Amy walked out of the exam room dragging her hammer (or what was left of it) behind her and looking like she had she had taken a nap in the third lane of the interstate highway.

"Ames?!" Sonic gasped as he saw her limping into the waiting room.

"I don't want to talk about it." Amy growled as she plopped back down in her chair, quickly falling asleep.

Suddenly the nurse came back with his clipboard and called out the next name,

"Miles Prower?" Tails took a deep breath and got up.

"Good luck little buddy!" Sonic said as he gave Tails a thumbs up. Tails just gave a nervous smile as he followed the nurse down the hall of doom.

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**A/N-...Yes I am aware that this chapter really isn't good enough to be called 'Funny' but hey, Tails is next! Wee!**


	5. Tails

**Sonic Check-ups**

**Chapter 5-Tails**

**Disclaimer-I already said this four times and I'll say it again; I only own Sapphire and the doctors-No one else! LEAVE ME ALONE!**

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Tails was sitting nervously on the hospital bed waiting for his doctor to come in. After a few minutes of nervous waiting a rather scary looking red hedgehog entered the room.

"Hello Miles, my name is Dr. Pain." The male hedgehog said in a husky voice.

"Um..hello." Tails replied nervously.

"Ooo..your voice sounds like a girl's. Unlike any other I've ever heard before. I like it." Dr. Pain said as he grinned showing off his fierce canine teeth.

"Umm..thanks?" Tails said creeped out.

"Oh don't mention it." Dr. Pain replied.

"..."

"Now let's check out those lovely ears of yours." Dr Pain said as he pulled out that little tool doctors use to look in people's ears. He shoved the tool in Tails' ear and looked inside of it, placing his hand on the side of Tails' muzzle.

"Ok that one looks good. Now lets look at the next one shall we?" Dr. Pain asked.

"_No!" _Tails was shouting in his head. The doctor yet again shoved the tool into Tails' other ear but this time he sniffed Tails' head.

"Uh.." Tails stuttered. He did NOT feel comfortable alone with this weirdo.

"You smell nice." The doctor said in a creepy stalker voice, which made Tails shiver.

"Thanks..again." Tails said. The doctor just smiled his creepy stalker smile and walked over to that computer that sticks out off the wall.

"Hold on for just one moment will you?" The doctor asked.

"S-sure." Tails replied. Suddenly the doctor 'dropped' his pen on the floor.

"Oh, could you get that my dear boy, I 'kinda have my hands full at the moment." The doctor asked as he typed something at the computer.

"Uh sure." Tails said. He hopped off the bed and bent over to pick the pen up. But what Tails didn't know was that the doctor was starring at his ass as he was doing this.

"Here you go." Tails said as he gave the pen to the doctor.

"Thank you _very _much." The doctor hissed as he motioned for Tails to sit back down.

"Now, about that tail," The doctor began. Tails gulped and clung to his tails like they were dolls.

"Wha-what about my tail?" Tails asked.

"Oh, it's endangering your health. We'll need to amputate it... immediately." The doctor said as he pulled out a HUGE needle from the drawer.

**In the waiting room**

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Everyone was talking when they heard Tails scream bloody murder.

"TAILS!" Sonic shouted as he dashed down the hall. He opened the door to see Tails tied down on the bed while the doctor was injecting a pink fluid into the little kitsune's arm.

"SONIC, HELP!" Tails screamed. Then he passed out because of the drug. Sonic spin dashed the doctor into the closet and locked it. Then, he grabbed Tails and slung him over his shoulder like a rag doll an ran back out into the waiting room. When he came back another nurse was leading Charmy out of the room.

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**...No comment on this chapter. R&R PLEASE NO FLAMES!**


	6. Charmy

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Checkups Are Never Easy

**Chapter 6-Charmy**

**A/N: *Walks on stage* hey- AH! *Doges bullets* Ok ok I'm sorry that I kinda tortured Tails in the last chapter! Jezz you guys are touchy! *doges more bullets* Ok FINE! *drags Tails on stage and holds him up to the audience* HERE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? He is fine! Look, he still has both his tails!**

**Tails: What's going on?**

**Me: Here kid, knock yourself out. *hands Tails a giant cookie the size of his head***

**Tails: COOKIE!**

**Me: *Mumbles and walks away***

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Charmy was sitting on the hospital bed swinging his legs back and fourth and whistling to himself. Suddenly the same doctor who had kicked Sonic out walked through the door.

"Hello Charmy!" She said cheerfully.

"Hi'ya!" Charmy said in a hyper voice. "Ooooo.... What's this?" The little bee said as he flew over to the doctor and pointed to her stethoscope.

"Oh this? This is my stethoscope, it let's me listen to your heart." The doctor answered. Charmy's eyes widened.

"Wow! Let me see! Let me see!" The little insect could barely contain himself.

"Alright." The doctor chuckled. She put it in her ears and took the really cold part and put it to Charmy's chest.

"So you can her it just by doing that?" Charmy asked, bewildered. The doctor nodded her head. Charmy thought for a minute and suddenly, without warning, Charmy grabbed the flat piece of the stethoscope and screamed as loud as he could into it, causing the doctor to scream also. Charmy laughed as he watched the doctor stand back up after she fell down from the blast of sound.

"Charmy..." She began.

"Oh, what's this?" Charmy cut her off as he flew up and looked at a little electronic device on the ceiling. The doctor heaved a sigh, "That's a security camera." The doctor explained. Once again, Charmy got excited and started to make faces at the camera. The doctor started to get annoyed.

"Will you please-"

"Whoa! Look at this!" Charmy had opened the drawer that had contained the needles. Charmy picked up the largest needle he could find, (let's say about six inches long) and started to chase the doctor with it.

"C'mon! You get one and we can play Sword Fight!" Charmy said.

"Charmy! Bad! Drop it this instant! It's filled with anaesthesia chemicals!" The doctor said as she ran around in circles with Charmy chasing her.

"Ha ha, this is fun!" Charmy sang. He then gained a burst of energy and plunged the needle into the poor doctor's arm.

"...Sleepy." She said before she past out on the ground.

"Uh oh I'm gonna... Oh look at that!" Charmy said getting distracted by the fire alarm panel sitting on the wall. He looked at the handle, it looked as if it wanted him to pull it. And he did.

"WARNING! DANGER! DANGER! PLEASE EXIT THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!" The alarm blared.

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**10 minutes later**

Charmy flew up to his group in the parking lot where all the rest of the people in the hospital were.

"Uh... hi guys!" Charmy said nervously. Everybody glared at him. They knew it was him.

"Not cool." Sonic said as he stood with an unconscious Tails slung over his shoulder.

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**20 minutes later**

The fire department made sure everything was safe and everyone was let back into the building. Once everything had settled down a nurse came back to the troublesome group and looked at her clipboard.

"Vanilla?" She called.

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**A/N-Ok for Vanilla's I'm just going to show you what happens in the waiting room when people are getting their check-ups. R&R PLEASE NO FLAMES!!**


	7. Waiting Room Chaos

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 6-Waiting Room Chaos**

**A/N: Now since Vanilla does not deserve to be tortured, I will let you guys see what goes on in the waiting room...enjoy!**

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"Give it back Charmy!" Sapphire demanded. Charmy had snatched her bow right off her head and was now teasing the little bat with it.

"Your going to have to take it from me!" The little bee taunted.

"Charmy, you are this close to a kick in the face!" Sapphire threatened as she also flew up to where Charmy was.

"Oh for god's sake Charmy just give her her thing back." Rouge said calmly as she flipped through a magazine looking for any mention of her club. Charmy turned towards Rouge.

"Make me Batgirl!" Charmy shouted. Rouge looked up from her magazine and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you _really _want me to make you?" Rouge asked.

"Yeah!" Charmy said excitedly.

"Oh this isn't going to be pretty." Sonic said.

"That bee is dead." Shadow mumbled from his newspaper. Rouge flew out of her seat and straight at Charmy but the little twerp was too fast and moved out of the way. Sapphire, being blind, didn't have enough time to use her echolocation to sense Rouge coming and the two sisters slammed into each other. They both fell to the ground with a "_THUD!". _Sapphire on the ground and Rouge in Tails' lap (Who by the way is still unconscious) Rouge looked up at Tails, who now, was starting to wake up.

"Wh-where am I? What happened?" Tails asked in confusion. It was then that he noticed the bat in his lap.

"Hi." Rouge said. "Finally decided to wake up huh fox boy?" Rouge asked in a seductive voice. Tails blushed bright red.

"Get off him Rouge." Shadow said from his seat across from them. Rouge looked at the ebony hedgehog.

"Would you rather have me sit in your lap?" She asked as she smiled.

"As tempting as that sounds... no." Shadow didn't even look up from his newspaper. Rouge then got off of the fox and sat back in her seat.

"Besides, I think you've given enough lap dances to that echidna boyfriend of yours." Shadow added. Rouge's face turned beet red with anger and embarrassment. Sonic went nuts with laughter. Rouge glared at him with anger in her eyes.

"Something funny about that hedgepig?!" She asked. Sonic stopped laughing.

"Hedgepig!?" He repeated angrily.

While Rouge and Sonic where fighting Charmy had stung Sapphire and Sapphire had slammed Charmy into the wall. Cream was crying because everyone was fighting and Tails was trying to cheer her up, Vector was playing his headphones as loud as they could go, Shadow was laughing at Rouge and Sonic and while all this was going on Amy was sleeping and snoring like you would not believe.

So between Sonic and Rouge's fighting, Charmy's screams of pain, Sapphire's shouts, Shadow's laughing, Cream's crying, Tails' comforting, Amy's snores, and Vector's music, this was hard for Espio, who was trying to meditate at the time, hard to concentrate. He couldn't take the noisy group anymore.

"ENOUGH!" Espio shouted so loud that it woke Amy up. Although Vector didn't hear him. Espio walked over to Vector, grabbed his earphones off his head and snapped them in half over his knee.

"What's the big idea?" Vector asked.

"I have had enough!" He shouted in vector's face. He turned towards the group. "Sit. Down." He commanded. Everyone did as they where told and returned to their seats. No sooner had they done that Vanilla walked into the waiting room.

"My, it looked like all of you minded your manners while I was gone." Vanilla stated as she took her seat next to her daughter. Everyone just gave fake smiles. The nurse came back.

"Sapphire?" She requested. Sapphire reluctantly got up and followed the nurse down the hall.

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**R&R please! No flames!**


	8. Sapphire

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 8-Sapphire**

**A/N: Hey sorry this took forever...umm... I was going to give you guys an excuse but I don't have one :) And I also went through and edited each chapter, so if you guys want to go back and appreciate some better writing... PLEASE DO!**

**NOW ENJOY GOD DAMN IT!**

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"The doctor should be with you shortly," the nurse informed as he lead Sapphire to an examination room.

"Cool, thanks." Sapphire replied as she hopped up onto the bed as the nurse left, shutting the door behind him. Sapphire took a few moments to sniff the air around her. She could tell that this was the room that Knuckles' had been in; which worried her thinking back to when Knuckles' came tearing down the hallway screaming at the top of his lungs. She also smelled something else... echidna urine...?

Knuckles peed himself?

Sapphire's train of thought was interrupted when a different doctor than Knuckles' have had, a blue raccoon, walked into the small examination room, clipboard in hand.

"Hello Little One! What's your name?" the doctor said as he sauntered over to the bed and bent down to eye level with Sapphire, like what you would do with a toddler. Sapphire raised an eyebrow. The guy hadn't said more than ten words to her and he hated him and his tone already.

Not expecting an answer from Sapphire, the doctor continued, "My name is Dr. Kiwi." he sounded put each syllable like Sapphire didn't know English. The little bat glared at him, she was eight, not three. And apparently this guy had the brain of a goldfish and couldn't tell the god damn difference.

Sensing he wasn't going to get any answers from Sapphire, Dr. Kiwi dropped the introductions. He stood up and walked over to the counter to retrieve his stethoscope. He returned to were an inpatient Sapphire waited. Then he once again squatted down to her level.

"This is a stethoscope. Can you say, 'steth-a-scope'?"

Ok that was it.

"Look Mr. Kiwi, and please reason with me on this, I would really appreciate it if you would change your tone. I'm not three years old and I would be very grateful if you treated me as such. It's quite demeaning to be addressed in such a manner." Sapphire waited for a response, but what came out of the doctor's mouth next just angered her further.

"Looks like someone's getting fussy. How about a sugar-free lollie pop little girl?"

Sapphire blinked. She couldn't believe this. This guy _did _have the brain of a goldfish.

"Ok that's it." Sapphire then kicked the incompetent doctor right in the head, knocking him out. She then headed for the door, taking a few lollie pops with her on the way out.

"Sucker." Sapphire smirked as she popped a lollie in her mouth.

* * *

**In the waiting room**

Sapphire strolled into the waiting room with her lollie still in her mouth and a satisfied smirk on her face.

"That was quick. How was it?" Rouge inquired. Sapphire twirled the lollie pop inside her mouth while considering a proper answer.

"Interesting..."

After a few more minutes the nurse came back.

"Rouge the Bat?"

"That's me." Rouge stated as she confidently stood up and followed the nurse down the hall.

"Have fun." Sapphire called, taking a loud bite of the sucker.


	9. Rouge

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 9- Rouge**

**Disclaimer in first couple chapters.**

**A/N- Uhh... I'm just going to apologize in advance for any Rouge fans out there.**

***Hides under desk* DON'T KILL ME!**

* * *

Rouge didn't have to wait in the small space of the examination room for long before her doctor, a black wolf, (who she thought looked pretty hot) walked through the health-poster-covered- door.

His head was bent intently over his clipboard he held in his right hand as he walked over to the bed to the bed where Rouge was perched, still not even glancing up at the bat when he said, "Rouge?" (He pronounced it 'Roo-g')

Rouge gently pushed the clipboard down and tilted the doctor's face up so the both of them were looking into each other's eyes.

"It's Rouge." She corrected in a seductive voice and an equally sexy smile.

The doctor, who had not even looked at Rouge until now blinked and tried to stutter something but was clearly too flustered to say anything.

Rouge's smile just grew wider.

The wolf took a few steps back and cleared his throat.

"Uh... my name is, is Dr. Anderson, and I will be your doctor for today." He finally managed to stutter. Rouge was enjoying this, she decided to have some fun with Dr. Anderson.

"Nice to meet you _Dr. _Anderson." Rouge cooed. Dr. Anderson took a deep breath and cleared his throat again before continuing,

"um, yes, so, we will begin by taking some blood samples to be tested for any possible disease cells." Rouge cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, so I look like I have diseases eh?" Rouge smirked and crossed her legs while the doctor nervously adjusted his neck tie.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that, uh, what I meant was that bats have unusually high risk to a specific blood disease and need to be tested for it." the wolf clarified.

"Alrighty then." Rouge submitted to the blood, test, removing the glove on her left arm and offered it to the doctor. "Just tell me when you're going to do it, I hate needles."

Dr. Anderson nodded as he pulled a needle from one of the pockets on his white coat,

"Now this is only going to sting slightly." he reassured Rouge as he inserted the relatively short needle into the bat's arm.

Once the vile was full of dark red blood, Dr. Anderson removed the needle, dropping it into the sink located behind him. He slipped a plastic top over the vile full of blood, labeled it with a sharpie, and then put that in his coat pocket. After the syringe was taken care of he handed Rouge and bandage for her arm.

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" the wolf asked as Rouge put her glove back on her arm.

"Not at all Honey." Trying to ignore the "Honey" part of Rouge's sentence, Dr. Anderson stated,

"Now you can go back to the waiting room while the blood is being tested."

"Sounds good." Rouge said as she slid off the metal table. She was about to walk out the door when she turned around and faced the doctor, "Hey Doc, you doing anything this Saturday?"

Dr. Anderson seemed ambushed by the sudden question and could barley reply.

"Uh...n-no nothing really." Rouge smiled.

"Well how about you and I go out and get some dinner Saturday night?"

"Th-that sounds... great." Dr. Anderson managed to stutter.

"Good, here's my number, you can call me with the rest of the info. But for now I gotta wait for a blood test. See ya in a bit."

And with that, Rouge sauntered back down the hallway to the waiting room, to await the results. Leaving behind a very flabbergasted doctor.

* * *

**Later**

After being called back in by her newly acquired date, Rouge walked back into the examination room and once again made herself comfortable on the hospital bed and waited for Dr. Anderson and the results to arrive.

Two minutes later the doctor walked back into the confined room, yellow folder in hand, and stood in front of the bed where an anxious Rouge waited (suggestive themes :)

He flipped open the file and did I quick once-over. His ruby red eyes widened.

"Uh..."

"What, what is it?" Rouge demanded.

"Well, Rouge, the good news is that you don't have the blood disease..."

Rouge heaved a sigh of relief.

"But you do have nine STD's."

Rouge sucked the sigh back in with a gasp.

"WHAT?!" She shrieked. The doctor was just as disgusted.

"Okay Rouge calm down, we just have to find the guy who's giving you all of these and treat him."

"Uh..."

"Ok so how many guys have you had sexual intercourse this year?"

"Uh..."

"Rouge?"

"Can I get a girl doctor please?"

Dr. Anderson just stared at her with disbelief, he could tell she had lost track of all the guys she's slept with.

"Sure, ok." Dr. Anderson agreed as he walked out the door. But he then poked his head back inside the room, "And uh, I just now remembered, I already have plans on Saturday."

* * *

**Later and in the waiting room**

Rouge was done with her checkup and was sent out with instructions to shy away from intercourse for a while and a bucket load of medication.

She took her seat again in a hideously yellow chair and opened her phone.

"Hello Knuckles?"

"Yeah... you might wanna get yourself checked out."

While Rouge was on the phone a nurse came out and called out the hospital's next victim,

"Espio the Chameleon?"


	10. Espio

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 10-Espio**

* * *

Espio walked into the soon to be torture chamber known as an examination room as the nurse shut the heavy wooden door as she left.

The chameleon looked around at the claustrophobic walls around him and decided to take a seat on the bed sitting in the corner.

Just as he sat on the mattress, the metal frame collapsed, sending the bed and Espio into a crumpled heap on the floor.

"What the-?" Espio was more shocked than hurt, but still received a bruise on his back. He stood up and brushed himself off, just as the doctor, a sandy colored weasel, walked in the door.

"Hello Espio! My name is Dr. Burich but feel free to called me Tracie." The doctor shook hands with the sore Espio. She then turned around to retrieve something off the counter and while she was turning around she accidently smacked Espio in the face with her clipboard.

"Ouch..." Espio groaned softly as he rubbed the sore spot on his face. Tracie didn't even notice.

"Now Espio if you would be so kind as to please step onto the scale..." Tracie instructed. Espio heaved a sign and walked over to the scale. But before he got a chance to step on it Tracie accidently tipped it over-right on top of our poor lizard friend.

"Ouch!" Espio yelped as the heavy piece of metal smashed down on top of him.

Tracie covered her mouth, "Oh my god I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright." Espio huffed as he struggled to get out from under the Scale of Death. Once he was successful in doing so he put the scale upright and stepped back to catch his breath.

"You okay?" Tracie asked as she stepped forward, stepping on his right foot fairly hard.

Espio winced and Tracie backed off again, apologizing profusely.

Espio stumbled back, trying to reach out for a counter to steady himself, then he un intentionally poked himself in the palm with a syringe that was hanging off the edge of a counter.

"Oh let me get you a bandage for that!" Tracie offered as she turned around, this time her tail going behind his feet, tripping him like she had pulled a carpet out from under him.

He fell back first on the cold, hard floor. But not before hitting his head on the remains of the bed on his way down.

Espio winced more with a pain-filled groan.

Tracie stood back, suspecting she would end up hurting him again.

Eventually Espio stood back up, gave the doctor a horrified look, and limped out the door, but on his way out he tripped over a piece of metal, crashing into the hallway.

"There's my stethoscope!" Tracie exclaimed as she bent down next to a throbbing Espio and picked them up and walked back inside the room, shutting the door behind her. Of coaurse hitting Espio with the door at the same time.

* * *

**In the waiting room**

A beaten and bruised Espio limped down the hall, looking like he had gotten in a street fight.

"Espio?! What happened Buddy?" Sonic asked with concern.

Espio didn't even look towards the blue hedgehog as he continued to walk towards the exit.

"Honey where are you going?" Rouge called after him.

"To another doctor."

Just then a nurse came back and called the next person's name with meager enthusiasm.

"Vector the Crocodile?"

* * *

**Ok so I can't really think of any ideas for Vector so guess what you guys get?...Another waiting room chapter! *everyone groans* Don't oyu people make me get the windex! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DAMAGE HOUSEHOLD CLEANERS CAN CAUSE TO A PERSON?!**


	11. Waiting Room Chaos 2

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 11- Waiting Room Chaos 2**

**A/N: Ok so I decided I would just go ahead and write another waiting room chapter because I really don't feel like writing about Vector. Thanks for all of your support!**

* * *

Vector had left the confines of the waiting room to have his checkup, leaving the others sitting rather bored in the ugly hospital chairs.

"Hey I have a game we can play!" Cream suddenly chirped. Most of the group groaned at the idea, but certainly now our own little ray of sunshine Amy.

"That's a great idea Cream! What game did you have in mind?"

"The alphabet game! We go around the room and someone says a word that starts with the next letter of the alphabet. Ok, I'll start. Hmm... Antidisestablishmentarianism(.I think that's how ya spell it)." Everyone just blinked. Whatever happened to 'Apple'? Cream then looked expectantly at the person next to her.

"Uh... bugers!" Ha ha!" Charmy laughed.

"Nasty." Rouge dropped the magazine she was reading on the coffee table.

"Chile dogs." Sonic grinned.

"Daises." Vanilla said.

"Ego." Sapphire turned towards Sonic.

"Flowers." Amy smiled.

"Guns." Shadow muttered.

"Haggard." Espio rubbed his temples.

"Invention." Tails said as he looked up from his Plane magazine.

"Jewels." Rouge crossed her legs.

"Kitten." Cream giggled.

"Loser." Charmy looked at Sapphire.

"Mutant." Sapphire hissed back.

"Hey it was my turn!" Sonic whined. "Uh... n... n... nose?"

"Nice, Faker." Shadow turned the page of the 1998 newspaper he found amongst the pile of crap on the table.

"Oregon." Everyone shot a puzzled look at Vanilla.

"What's an Oregon?" Charmy asked curiously.

"Oregon is a wonderful state with forests and weirdos where you have to pump your own gas. The weirdos that live there also don't have to pay sales tax and recycling is almost a requirement and expected by the age of five. They also get really pissed if you call them 'beaver huggers' or mispronounce the state name." Sonic replied.

"What kind of dumb ass would mispronounce the name of a state?" Rouge asked as she picked up another 13-year-old magazine.

"People who call it Or-e-gone, or Or-e-gun. It's Or-eh-gin!!! It hasn't **gone **anywhere and it's sure as hell not a gun, you morons!" Sonic shouted at no one is particular. The group 'sorta looked at each other before continuing their meagerly amusing game.

"Raspberries." Amy clasped her hands together.

"Uh... quail?" Tails couldn't think of anything else.

"Postpartum Depression." Shadow sighed.

"Samurai." Espio said with his eyes shut.

"Text message." Rouge scowled as she read a forward about Super Herpes.

"Uranus." Sonic and Charmy giggle immaturely at Cream's word. The girls just shook their heads.

"V...v... I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!" Charmy yelled in distress.

"How about vermin?" Sapphire cracked a smile.

"How about vermin?"Charmy mimicked the bat.

"Charmy, if only you knew how guy you just sounded." Sonic laughed.

"Ok moving on... hmm, Wave."

"Ooooo..." most of the group watched Sonic's cheeks blush a light pink and Amy's eyes turn a dark red.

"I couldn't think of anything else!" Sonic defended.

"Yeah... ok." Shadow picked up his 9th newspaper. Everyone then looked at Sapphire, since it was her turn.

Sensing everyone's eyes on her, Sapphire suggested, "Uh... why don't we just skip X, Y and Z?

No one can think of anything anyway." The group nodded.

"Hey, does anyone have the feeling like we forgot something?" Rouge asked as she looked around the room only to receive blank stares and shakes of the head.

* * *

**Meanwhile**

Hey Froggy, when do you think the others will get here?" Big the Cat was standing outside his house waiting for his friends to pick him up to car pool with them to the hospital.

For three hours.

"Oh Froggy, I'm bored too." Froggy then saw a delectable fly in the street, hopped away to eat it, and got hit by a truck.

But Fat-ass I mean Big was too busy dreaming about pizza to notice

* * *

**Hospital**

Vector walked back down the hall with a hearing aid and instructions to stay away from headphones. He took a seat and a nurse (seriously!) To the dull room.

"Cream the rabbit?"


	12. Cream

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 12-Cream**

* * *

Cream happily hopped off the ugly waiting room chair and skipped down the hall after the nurse who led her to an examination room.

"Now your doctor will be with you in a few minutes ok?" Cream jumped up onto the bed and smiled politely.

"Ok, thank you Ms. Nurse." the nurse smiled and shut the door. For a few minutes Cream patiently sat on the bed swinging her legs back and fourth until her doctor, a red cat came through the door.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Peterson and I will be your doctor for today." he smiled as he introduced himself.

"Hello Dr. Peterson." Cream smiled back. Dr. Peterson's smile vanished as he tilted his head to one side curiously.

"...What?" you could tell by looking at him that he was confused.

"I said, 'Hello Dr. Peterson." Cream repeated herself and the doctor's expression just grew more puzzled.

"Uh... is that your real voice?"

"Yes." Cream replied, The doctor's eyes widened.

"Cream, do you mind if I take a look inside your mouth really quick?" Dr. Peterson asked as he took a step forward while reaching inside his coat and pulling out a mini flashlight.

"Uh... no?"Cream hesitantly opened her mouth and Dr. Peterson looked down her throat.

"Oh my," the doctor took a step back and clicked the flashlight off. "Cream, it looks like you have a rare birth defect of the vocal cords." he pulled out a clipboard and jotted down a few notes. "Now Cream, was there any chance that your mother could have done any... oh, I don't know,... drugs, while she was pregnant with you?" Cream blinked, she wasn't exactly sure what drugs were, but they sounded bad and her Mother was not the type of person who did bad things.

"No."

"Hm... well did anything happen while she was pregnant with you?" Dr. Peterson asked as his eyes fell on Cream's over-sized ears.

"Well, she was in a car crash, but the doctor said she was ok."

"...Was the doctor on drugs?" he mumbled as he stepped forward and inspected her ears.

"I...I don't think so." the little rabbit replied.

The doctor sighed as he stepped back again.

"Well Cream, you have two birth defects; your vocal cords are disfigured and your ears are twice as long as they should be."

Cream blinked.

"Are you completely sure your mom didn't-"

"Well I could go ask her." Cream offered.

* * *

**In the waiting room**

Cream walked down the hall and back into the waiting room and up to Vanilla.

"Mama, the doctor wants to know if you're on drugs."

* * *

**Later**

After Cream's checkup was finished, a nurse came back to get the hospital's next, and last victim.

"Shadow the Hedgehog?"


	13. Shadow and The End

**Checkups Are Never Easy**

**Chapter 13-Shadow**

**A/N: Well my friends, I'm afraid that this is the last chapter. I know that there will be tears, (well, I don't know about you guys) But you guys have been great reviewers. And maybe when I've finished a couple stories I might consider making the S word... No not THAT word you dirty people. I meant...sequel. Now please, enjoy the finale!**

* * *

Shadow reluctantly stood and followed the nurse down the hallway of doom muttering something like, "I better not have the Swine Flu..."

Once he reached the dreaded room he didn't want to sit on the hospital bed (considering all the freaks that go to hospitals-including the people he came with) so he Seated himself on a chair that was pushed up against the wall.

30 minutes passed and Shadow was just about to get up and leave when a white hedgehog entered the room.

"I'm so sorry for the wait Mr...Shadow." the female doctor raised her clipboard to her face and read off the name. Shadow didn't say anything.

"Now my name is Dr. Brooke and we'll start off by doing some simple tests ok?" still no answer from the dark hedgehog.

Later

The majority of Shadow's checkup was un-eventful. The next and last thing Shadow needed to do to finally finish his checkup and leave this god-awful place was to get an x-ray. But when the developed x-rays came back the doctor covered her mouth with a gasp. Shadow just raised a questioning eyebrow from across the room, waiting for the doctor to explain the gasp.

"Shadow... did you know that you had _seven_ bullets in your chest?!" the doctor exclaimed as she turned to face the hedgehog.

"Hm..." Shadow lowered his eyebrow and the flabbergasted Dr. Brooke's mouth hung open.

"Shadow, haven't you felt any pain at all?!" she questioned, staring at the x-rays.

"I am the Ultimate Life Form, I feel no pain."

Dr. Brooke blinked, "Excuse me?"

"I, the Ultimate Life Form was created fifty years ago on the space colony ARK by one of the World's top scientists. I lived there for a while until the government thought I was a danger to society and tried to destroy me. But my best friend Maria tricked me into going into an escape pod, which she then ejected to Earth. There I was captured by GUN forces and put into suspended animation for 50 years." Dr. Brooke gave Shadow a look.

"Okaaaaay..." Dr. Brooke flung open the door.

"SECURITY!"

Waiting room

The others were anxiously waiting for Shadow to get back when all of a sudden they saw two large security guards dragging a struggling Shadow out from the hallway by his ankles. The group didn't know what to do. Suddenly Shadow broke free, jumped to his feet, and ran to the center of the group.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" He then pulled out a chaos emerald and chaos controlled everyone out of the hospital."

**THE END**

* * *

**Aw... it's all over? Yes, my friends sadly, it is. But now I want you guys to give the story an over-all grade. 1-10 please! Thank you guys! You've been great!**


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